✦ ✦ ✦

Keep the cat.

You found all twelve — I’m so happy you got here. So, a gift: a Chrome extension that lets him off this site and onto any other. He’ll nap on whatever you’re writing, beat up your buttons, and take a page apart when it’s wasted enough of your time.

Get the extension

Email me the link

Free, on the Chrome Web Store — it does nothing until it sees that you found him.

He’s rather larger on a desktop — send yourself the link and let him out when you get there.

everything he answers to

Fcome with mehe keeps up, on the ground
Jget up on thingshe climbs to whatever you’re reading
Pplayrolls, tears about, beats up your buttons
Vdisappearprints, then nothing, then a grin
Rgo to sleepsettles wherever he happens to be
Ttalk to himhe won’t answer. he never does.
Xlet him at itwhen a page has wasted enough of your time
Gfeed himcake to grow, shift-G for the bottle
Khis colourpress again for the next, shift-K goes back
Cthe menuall of this, in one place

He stays on this site either way — ✦ The Cat ✦ in the nav always brings you back here.

← back into the wonderland